Pre Yoga Panic

I signed up for my first group yoga class since my Mom passed away. All weekend I was an anxious, hot mess. Even DJ (my fiancé) kept asking me what was wrong. I told him, I couldn’t put my finger on it, I just felt so unbelievably anxious. My anxiety peaked on Sunday.

It was awful - all day my anxiety running wild, rumination, overwhelm, feeling not enough, imposter syndrome, doubting everything about myself and my life, overthinking, worrying about everything, so much tension, knots in my stomach, headache etc… No matter how much down-regulating I did, I couldn’t shift it.  

On Sunday, I finally made it to my 7:00 pm somatics yoga class, even though I forgot about it numerous times throughout the day. Even DJ had to remind me after dinner that I had class. I looked at him shocked - I completely forgot (I never forget appointments)!!! 

What the heck was going on with me this weekend? 

After some major panicking in my car at the studio parking lot, I finally made my way inside. I was determined to get back onto my mat - it was time. 

As soon as I set up my mat and laid down on my back, I immediately started crying. 

The crying continued for the rest of the hour-long physical practice. It didn’t matter if we were seated, standing or laying down, the tears were streaming down my face. 

Finally the tears stopped after the first few minutes of savasana. The instructor played singing bowls and led us through a guided yoga nidra. I settled into the sacred space and rested in the complete presence of my being for the remainder of savasana.

POST YOGA RELFECTIONS

I have been on the go non-stop since my Mom passed away. I have kept up a relentless pace that is completely unsustainable. I started hearing the people around me describe me as the BUSIEST person they know and it definitely didn’t feel like a compliment.

It really bothered me. I don’t want to be the busiest person I know, I do want a full life, but I didn’t want the constant stress, anxiety, exhaustion and overwhelm that went hand-in-hand with my overly busy schedule.

I knew something had to change - hence the yoga class. 

It was time to slow down and transition from the constant stress response I was stuck in since my Mom received a terminal cancer diagnosis to a state of greater ease and relaxation.  

Easier said than done.  

The reason I am sharing this story is because it is a real life example of how quickly we get conditioned into a certain state of being and how challenging it can be to change.  

I mean how does a Life Coach, Energy Healer, 500 Hr-Experienced Registered Yoga Teacher, Meditator, clean eater, dancer, exercise fiend, and entrepreneur stay in a constant stress response for over a year and a half when my very expertise is RELAXATION, PEACE, and PRESENCE??? 

The answer….. NEUROPLASTICITY.

Neurons that fire together, wire together. 

The more intense your emotion is around an experience the more hard-wired your brain is to repeat the same behaviors and habits you learned from that experience. 

Losing the most important person in my entire world, triggered the deepest stress response I have ever known.

My Mom was my person, my Mom was always my person, and now my person was gone.

There was no other option, but pure unadulterated panic - my Mom was my lifeline.

No matter what I went through, my Mom was always there for me and now she wasn’t. 

I felt alone and on my own to face the world. Panic, helplessness and hopelessness hit me with a vengeance and ran rampant for the majority of 2023 until December. 

Everything changed when DJ and I spent four glorious days together in Florida, just the two of us. 

I came home a completely different person. DJ was shocked by my before and after transformation and it’s still occurring. Even last week he mentioned how different I am now. 

HOW DID A VACATION CHANGE EVERYTHING? 

Dr. Joe Dispenza would call this head and heart coherence. Think of being aligned with the body, mind, soul, life and divine. I became greater than my environment, greater than my stress response, greater than my grief, greater than my helplessness, greater than my hopelessness, and greater than my old self.  

I stepped into this greatest version of myself. It’s like all the puzzle pieces I have been collecting the past two decades all clicked together to form the finished puzzle (my vision of the future). 

I want to be super clear, the vacation did not miraculously give me all these new tools and skills I have never had before. I have spent decades cultivating the numerous tools and skills I have today for living an empowered life.

The vacation simply provided me a beautiful opportunity to experience what this future version of me feels like, looks like and acts.

It’s as if I got to step into my future and experience what it is like to have my dreams become reality. 

My writing can’t begin to justify the magnitude of the experience, but suffice it to say I had a true phoenix from the ashes moment, a turning point in my life that created real and lasting transformation. 

BACK TO THE PRE-YOGA PANIC

Change is uncomfortable. Getting back to my mat is reinforcing my commitment of who I want to be: I want more ease in my life. I want relaxation. I want to do less and enjoy more. I want to go on endless adventures with DJ. I want a six figure business that financially supports me and allows me to help people all over the world. The dreams and desires list goes on and on, but you get the point.  

Change is uncomfortable and that’s why people quit. 

It’s hard to face the truth that my Mom is gone and all the feelings, grief and trauma that goes with it. It is hard to face the truth that my body is very symptomatic from running chronic stress for 2+ years. It’s hard to face the truth that there was a month last year that my business made $0. 

I want you to understand that unconsciously you will fight tooth and nail to hold onto the past. It would have been so easy to justify not going to class last night because I was ‘panicking, exhausted, nauseous, didn’t feel like it, overwhelmed’ etc… and if I would have given in to those old habituated patterns I would not have experienced the break-through awareness that I had after class. 

I am committed, dedicated and determined to step out of the comfort zone of my past and into my vision of the future.  

If you want to change it requires you to show up every day and choose thoughts, feelings and actions that support who you want to be, how you want to feel, and the life you want to have. Change also requires that you cultivate self-awareness of the thoughts, feelings and actions that are keeping you stuck in the past versus stepping into the life of your dreams. 

I couldn’t have changed alone. I needed help every step of the way. I am living my best life EVER and it is because of all the family, friends, coaches, teachers, healers, therapists, body workers, etc… that I have had on my side every step of the way. 

That yoga class changed my life because the amazing and wonderful Freia Ramsey (at Taproot Yoga Chardon) created a safe and loving space for me to show up as I am, tears and all.  

That vacation changed my life because DJ took me away from all the stress, worries and fears to my favorite place in the entire world - the beach, for some much needed R&R. 

Change is possible. 

I have changed time and time again and I continue to change. 

I am a master of transformation because no matter how ingrained a program, habit or behavior is I know that I am the creator of my life and I can create anything I desire. It just takes time, patience, consistency and SUPPORT. 

Are you ready to change a story about yourself that you have been holding onto for a long time?  It’s time, let’s do this - together! 

Join my VIP Empowered Living Program for support during your transformation.

I know how challenging change can be this is why I fell in love with ThetaHealing® and became a ThetaHealer because it is one of the quickest ways to rewire your brain so you can create lasting change and transformation in your life. ThetaHealing® helps you clear out the overgrown path more quickly by your healer helping you rewire your subconscious mind by releasing old patterns and limiting beliefs, so you can heal and move forward in your life. Thetahealing® helps you align the subconscious with the conscious mind so it is working together as a team supporting you reaching your goals. 

This is also why I created my 3-month Empowered Living program because I know that change takes time, healing takes time and rewiring your brain successfully takes time.

My clients that work with me in this longer container have support, time and consistency they need to change unhealthy habits and behaviors that are limiting their lives and create a new highway system in your brain that supports you in living your best life yet.

It is a well believed myth that it takes 21 days to change a habit, yet research shows that it takes 59-70 days to change a habit, so this three month container gives you the time you need to actually create new habits, beliefs and behaviors.   

Reply ‘change’ to this email and let’s chat about my VIP signature program and how it can create the miraculous results in your life that you are looking for.

COACHING PRACTICES

Dr. Joe Dipenza’s work on neuroplasticity encourages people to face themselves and overcome the limitations of their past. Remember if your unconscious self is 95% of your mind, then the question becomes are you willing to dismantle who you are to become the person you want to be?

Complete the following worksheets to help you reflect on who you need to become and who you need to let go of to create what you want in life.